You think you have it all under control. You’ve held it together.
In one moment you unravel. Why? Just tell me why? The only answer you get it silence.
The hot sweats invade.
You whisper ‘It will be okay’- your mantra.
Every time it leaves your lips- you believe it less and less.
Your tummy churns. Every muscle is tense. How will I survive?
You look to the heavens. ‘Help me’ you plead.
The panic sweeps in. Strangles you. Deep breaths don’t work.
THINK! THINK! THINK!
Count backwards from 10. You make it to nine before you buckle over.
You surrender to the panic. You surrender the control.
Desperation seeps out of you. It wards off any hope.
You kneel. Wonder where you went wrong.
The dread heavy on your shoulders.
You sag onto the floor.
The door remains closed. No one can see.
No one can know.
The door opens.
You hide your face.
Arms wrap around you.
A voice whispers…
Let it out. I got you. You got you.
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